All Treats & No Tricks
PUT THOSE CANDY BARS DOWN!
Here, have a FortiFX bar instead ☺️
Hold up, WHAT?
Yep, you heard correctly!
We want you to replace humanity's tastiest gift to itself with FortiFX protein bars.
Quite controversial, we know; but hear us out!
With Halloween slowly creeping up on us, keeping your eyes on the prize can be tricky.
We see you meandering the aisles of your local grocery store—slowly browsing rows of overpriced, seasonally wrapped chocolate candies. Weighing the pros and cons of keeping a few bags in the house just in case some adorable kids in costume come ringing your doorbell. Trying to convince yourself you'll hide the candy until Halloween night, no sneaky late-night treats.
STOP 🛑 Please don't do it!
A Vicious Cycle
We've been there too!
In January, you set a resolution to make this year your healthiest year yet. You start off strong, but by springtime, you've fallen off the wagon.
As the weather begins to warm up, you realize summer is coming 😮 You hop back on the healthy journey train but find yourself not quite finding the right balance.
By fall, you've determined winter is almost here, which means you'll be attending holiday parties galore. So, you promise to try and be mindful of your health but embrace that you'll do better next New Year.
So? What's your point?
We're glad you asked, friend.
When we ask you to stop eyeing those chocolate-filled aisles, we're asking you to go back in time to January and think about the resolution you made about your health. You know-the thing that determines how long you'll live and your quality of life? Yeah, that.
You're probably thinking, "But it's Halloween, HALLOWEEN!" To which we say, "Yes and?"
Unfortunately, your health doesn't care whether it's Halloween or not.
Before you start brainstorming how to toilet paper us, we'll let you in on a secret.
FortifFX protein bars aren't JUST protein bars.
*Shocked gasp from the audience*
WE KNOW, RIGHT?! It's okay to feel a bit perplexed. It's a bit alarming.
We're here to tell you that FortiFX Protein bars serve as Protein+Granola+CANDY bars.
Yes, you heard right. FortiFX protein bars serve as a granola, protein, AND candy bar all in one.
Now, do you see why we suggest putting that 12-pack of Kit-Kat down now?
Don't Be Suspicious
We promise we're here for you with no tricks and all treats!
Feeling skeptical? Take a look at what FortiFX customer Trisha Anne has to say!
*Insert Trisha Anne's testimonial*
Hmmm, still need some extra deets before you're fully convinced?
FortiFX bars are made of:
- Whey Protein Blend - The whey protein blend is a high-quality protein source containing all the essential amino acids that help your system break down food and repair damaged body tissues. It also includes the heavy weight of amino acids, Leucine. Leucine prevents age-related muscle loss and promotes muscle growth, helping you get those GOOD GAINS instead of the gains that shall not be named.
- Maltitol, Glucose Syrup, Kernel Oil, and Chicory Root Fiber - Before you start imagining how sugar-dense FortiFX bars are, we'd like to share that our bars only have 3g of sugar. And not the unhealthy type, either. Yep, just 3! All sugar substitutes above are extracted from natural sources like palm oil trees and Chicory root. And not the unhealthy type, either.
Bonus Fact: Maltitol does not promote tooth decay. Do you know what that means? FEWER TRIPS TO THE DENTIST!
Bonus, Bonus Fact: Palm kernel oil helps prevent signs and symptoms of aging, thanks to Vitamin E.
- Gluten Free: Mhm, you heard that right. Our Protein Bars are gluten-free! It just goes to show how much we at FortiFX care about you, our customers.
FortiFX vs. Traditional Candy Bar
We know it's hard to believe us without research and data to back up our claims, so let's throw a fan-favorite candy bar into the ring with FortiFX.
Line up your favorite candy bars and tell them to get in some stretches-the competition is fierce.
In one corner, weighing in at a gluten-free 63 grams, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for:
FORTIFX CHOCOLATE PRETZEL PROTEIN BARS
10G of Fat
In the opposite corner, the challenging contender, none other than the beloved:
Weighing in at
With 12G of Fat
We now have both contenders in the ring. At the count of 3, let all hell break loose.
One, two, three!
And they're off…
Kit-Kat lands the first punch knocking Fortifix down.
But Fortifix doesn't stay down for too long as Kit-Kat is met with a jab to the nose.
Kit-Kat begins to melt, we mean sweat, while FortiFX withstands the heat.
FortiFX follows up with another blow to Kit-Kat, an Upper-cut right to the jaw.
Kit-Kat falls to the ground, a look of disbelief on its face.
Kit-Kat takes a beating in the areas of protein, sugar, and care (thanks to those gluten-free pretzels).
Before you critics jump from your seats screaming, "BUT Kit-Kat has 30 fewer calories, how did it lose?"
Kit kat might have fewer calories, but it also has less protein. Foods high in protein, like FortiFX protein bars, lead to a decreased appetite, meaning we feel fuller for longer and eat less throughout the day. Thereby, when we calculate the total number of calories of two individuals who consumed a kit-kat and a FortiFX protein bar, the chances of the total calorie intake being low of the individual who ate the FortiFX protein bar are pretty high. This isn't just us talking, it's science.
Still need a little bit more convincing?
Say no more because FortiFX isn't done in the ring just yet.
FROM THE LEFT, we have FortiFX's Peanut butter protein bar making its entrance into the arena with loud music and a powerful stride
Oh, Who's that? There, on the right side?
Oh my gosh, It's REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP!! As soon as it enters, it's met with cheers from all sides. With a cocky smirk on its face, it drops and tumbles at full speed to the ring, where he gives a nasty look to FortiFX. FortiFX smirks in return, almost like it's hiding a secret card up its sleeve.
The commentator starts to speak.
Ladies and Gentlemen, We just had a smashing match between FortiFX's Chocolate Pretzel Protein Bar and Kit-Kat.
Aside: To be honest, we could end the show here, but since we have so many critics in the audience, It's only fair that we keep on going till the critics become screaming, raging fans.
Introducing our next contenders,
On the left side, we have FortiFX's Peanut Butter Protein Bar!
Weighing in at
11G of Fat
On the right, we have Reese's Peanut Butter Cup!
Weighing in at,
12G of Fat
The audience has started getting restless.
On the count of 3, I'm going to need both of you to give it all you've got cause there can only be one victor.
One, two, three!
And they're off...
FortiFX swings at Reese's and makes contact with its jaw. A sharp crunch is heard throughout the arena.
The referee can even see bits of peanut butter peeking from its cheek. Yikes!
But this isn't enough to knock Reese's out. Reese's gets back up and starts circling FortiFX, maintaining a solid stance. Suddenly, Reese's starts throwing a series of jabs toward FortiFX.
FortiFX skillfully manages to consistently duck and block.
Reese's begins to tire, its breaths becoming more ragged and heavy. FortiFX seizes this moment and launches a powerful hook toward Reese's, following it up with a series of jabs.
Reese's can't keep up with FortiFX's speed.
FortiFX knocks Reese's down with one last jab, and the crowd cannot believe it.
Another heavyweight defeated right before their eyes.
FORTIFX WINS AGAIN
How you ask? Well, we'll keep it brief with a summary:
Reese's, like Kit-Kat, had a promising calorie count but lacked high protein levels and low levels of Sugar and Carbs. It's simple math that one good performance doesn't make up for three sub-par ones. That's just sound logic! *Shrugs shoulders*
You've stuck around to see how 2 of our protein bars did when put up against two heavyweights. Why not stick around to see if the other 2 FortiFX protein bars are as good as its brothers?
With that, Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for the third FortiFX protein bar brother; Honey Almond!
Weighing in at,
Honey Almond looks ecstatic to meet its competition.
Speaking of which, Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together once more for the Sneaker of chocolates; Snicker!
Weighing in at,
Snickers is a big BIG boy, dear audience. Let's see how Honey Almond tackles this beast before it.
And Honey Almond is off! Wait, what's happening? Why is Honey Almond backing away from Snickers?
Snickers moves forward, trying to get closer to Honey Almond but fails.
15 minutes pass and Snickers is still trying to get close to Honey Almond, but Honey Almond is tenacious and refuses to be caught by Snickers.
Like a cat chasing a mouse.
This back-and-forth starts to really tire Snickers out. Its movements start to become lazy and careless.
Honey Almond has Snickers exactly where it wants it.
With incredible speed, Honey Almond bolts toward Snickers and lands a hard jab to its jaw. Instantly, Snickers is knocked out-fast asleep.
And with that, Snickers is out
FortiFX's Honey Almond emerges victorious.
This time, the audience erupts in cheers.
Don't use up all your cheer just yet! We still have one more match in store for y'all.
Luckily, we have one more weapon that is guaranteed to turn the critics into customers.
Dear Audience, Let us introduce you to the Firstborn of the FortiFX crew.
Chocolate Protein Bars!
Weighing in at
And now, FortiFX Chocolate Protein Bar's rival, Lindt's Classic Milk Bar!
Uh, where is Lindt?
Apologies, Ladies and Gentlemen. It seems that Lindt is running a bit behind schedule. We will announce their nutritional information to save time. Weighing in at,
Now, we wait for Lindt to show up.
*an hour passes*
*This just in, management has received a call from the Lindt team informing us that Lindt is fast asleep. Despite many efforts, no one has been able to wake Lindt*
Yikes! That's what happens when you consume foods with high sugar levels, kids. Sugar can give you a temporary energy boost, but its side effects are much more substantial since sugar acts as a sedative in the long run. High sugar consumption promotes the production of Orexin, which stimulates the feeling of being awake. That is, until you're hit with intense sleepiness.
*Management calls the referee and explains the situation*
Dear audience, an unexpected turn of events has forced Lindt to pull out of this fight last minute, which means that FortiFX's Chocolate Protein Bar is the victor of this match!
Quite Anti-Climatic, we know, but at least you learned an important life lesson!
Wait, did you just confess that you're convinced FortiFX is the best?
We're so glad you've recognized us as no trick and all treat!
But where do you get these delicious undefeated bars?
We're glad you asked!
You can find the link to all our victorious champs right here!